Just penned this for my friend's band; was wondering what you think of it as a rock song lyric? Be as blunt as you like! I'm not sure of its poetic values but I tried to be careful with the rhythm so that it can be set to a beat easily. The bit in italics is intended as a kind of refrain.
P.S.: Kealy Tower is my pseudonym!
Kealy Tower for Icarus
Sometimes I hate myself, and I feel numb inside
Mostly I'm eaten up with the feelings I can't hide.
I can't live up to those people who surround me each day,
So I choose to hide my fear, just to get through today.
Inside I'm screaming, inside I run away,
Outside I'm silenced, frozen to the spot - can I carry on this way?
The scarring bears witness to the pain I feel deep down,
Pain that fills your heart and fills your lungs so you could drown.
I've lost myself in a crowd of isolated souls,
Where I know my heart should be, there's only a black hole.
I hate the way I love you; I know you can't love me,
Not the way I want you to, I don't need sympathy.
I despise who I become, when I know you're near me
I hate the way I love you, the way you make me feel.