Somthing about December juts makes me depressed. Nothing is as much fun anymore. This is exactly like last year and I'm so afraid that I will fuck up more and everythig will be like last year. Maybe the whole trasition from a school where I was out to everyone, to where I am now where I keep this secret to myself and a few others. It scares me how much I've changed since I started HS. I'm getting much more depressed than last time and I know only bad can come of it. Instead of cutting which is how i dealt last year now I just party my sadness away and i know it is bad, but I'm just so lost. I just don't feel like I even have friends who really care anymore and it makes me sad. It makes me really sad, I just feel so stuck and alone.
I know this isn't making any sense, I mean fuck it doesn't make sense to me and I wrote it! Hope everyone is having a very happy December!