(Click on Read More - Ed)

Crimson drops
Of red hot pain
Burning
Desire
To feel
To not need the pain
To be free
To hold and love
To be loved
Warm body beside me
Arms holding me tight
Caress
Lips pressed upon mine
Tears rolling down my cheeks
To have
To hold
To hunger for
Want
Need
Deeper than lust
In want of love
Scars
In flesh
In mind
Will power
To ache
To dream
Reach
And touch nothing
Air
Dust
Nothing
To Wish
Her
Life
Ruby Red Heels
Far Away
Paradise
Warmth
Happiness
Impossible
Only a dream

Only a figment
Alone
Staring at the blade
Seeing her eyes
Emotion
Raging
Needing an Outlet
Here in the pen
I am naked before you.

It's been too long since I was here, but I am back for now, my life is falling apart in front of my eyes and I am close to breaking down... again. I sat down on Friday night and drew in red marker on my arm, then snapped a rubber ban against it for about an hour. But there are no marks, and I didn't cut.

I'm sorry I'm not here much anymore, but well, things have been hectic...