My Stomach's in knots

dazed and confused's picture

:: BIG GULP :: Well, I just put in the mail to my Dad & Stepmom a letter in which I come out. I was very tempted not to drop it in the slot. I think it was well written and said everything I wanted to say, but I'm still incredibly nervous. I probably will be like this until I hear back from them. Aargh. I HATE the coming out process! Being out is fine. No problem there...it's getting there that's the issue. To top it off, I was quoted (voluntarily) in a magazine that was just released today here at school and identified as a lesbian, so anyone who doesn't know about me, will know pretty soon as long as they read the article. Not that I mind, I mean, I knew ths was going to happen, and I want to just get the whole coming out process over with, but it's just so... uugh. Can I just hibernate for a week? *sigh*

Sorry if this isn't very coherant, but I have trouble making my thoughts make sense when I feel like this.

Well, I'd better go. I'm watching American Pie with my roommate and trying to make my stomach butterflies go away. I'm tempted to drink a little, but I have to work at 7:45 tomorrow morning. Plus, I will most likely be smashed tomorrow night...

G'Night All, I'll write an update when I hear back from the Parental Units.

~Tiffany

Comments

adbak's picture

I know how you feel

Last year, my senior year of high school, a Gay/Straigh[t] Alliance started. I was excited and joined. Near the end of the year a person from the yearbook staff dropped by and asked me how I felt about the people using the word fag and the phrase that's so gay. I said, "I do find it offensive and wish people would consider the repercussions of their words. But generally I ignore it and pass it off as something cultural -- something picked up and said without realizing its meaning or its effects."

So I indirectly came out to the whole school and any of the parents who would read the yearbook. However, I would have been more relieved if the yearbook had been distributed during the school year like normal, but the supplier screwed up and screwed all the seniors over because we had to go back to school after graduation and pick it up and leave high school with a yearbook sans notes from friends. But that's a whole nutha story.

I can relate to how you feel. And don't be afraid to update before your parents reply either, I love reading your blogs.