America is supposed to be so free. But we're wasting it. Wasting all our chances. We could be utopia. We could be heaven, we could be angels. We could grow wings and fly if we let ourselves. But we're to held down by our own blindness to fly. Im not patriotic in the strictest sense. I don't put up flags or even say the pledge, but maybe its just my way of loving this country. I see what we could be, and it makes me so sad it burns my heart. Becuase I don't think we could ever get there. I don't ever think we'll fly. My poor wingless hypothetical children, are probably going to be raised bastards by their two wingless mothers, and doted on by their many wingless aunties, and never go to the mad huge family christmas parties with their wingless second-cousins and great-aunts. They'll be raised by an extended family of wingless angels, all of us trying to take shelter from the hate, for one reason or another. Im not just talking gay rights and gay marriage. Im talking Dragon cutting, TJ wearing make-up, Sean and his theater friends, Tal, Dama and Melissa writing nutty stories, the kids at the centre and thier bruises and Stories and filing five pounds of biting reports, the arabic schoolkids down the street getting stoned going inside every morning. Im talking about my little sister and a younger me, who just never fit in. Im talking about the hate. Im talking about the violence, and the name calling and the stupid senseless shit. Gods I love what this country could be if people weren't so blind, but I can't say the pledge in homeroom, because that would only tie me to all the hurt, it would only make it more real. Im only sixteen, I've got enough of my own hurt without tying me to a whole county's worth of it. I know thats selfish, but I can't afford to break under it right now, I've got to many people depending on me, gods know why. So all I can do is try not to cry, and spread the bad news, and dream of a place where we all could have our wings.

8/2
No, Im not done tearing at this yet. Im mad now, not just sad.

""I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and I believe we ought to codify that one way or the other and we have lawyers looking at the best way to do that," the president said a wide-ranging news conference at the White House Rose Garden."

I believe. Thats the part that has got me right now. Hes doing this of his own belief. Isn't he supposed to be our president, not our dictator? Aren't presidents supposed to be serving their country, representing their wills? If its my will to marry a girl, then he should represent that, right? But hes saying I can't, that none of us can be legally bound to who we please, of his own beliefs. Never mind ours. Am I the only one this screams dictator too? I know it can't be. Its like the fundamentalist muslims we talked about in history class, or Saddam or something. Hes taking down one dictator to cover up that hes becoming one. Gods I hate politics.

"Bush also urged, however, that America remain a "welcoming country" -- not polarized on the issue of homosexuality."

I know I don't even have to adress this its so obvious, but I will anyway. Yes, lets be a welcoming country, lets just descriminate against anyone who makes us uncomfortable.

""I am mindful that we're all sinners and I caution those who may try to take a speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own," the president said. "I think it is important for our society to respect each individual, to welcome those with good hearts.""

A) Im not Christian, and this whole sinner business is challenging my right to freedom of religion, in my view, by inforcing his on me, and having it alter desisions that effect me.
B) If he respected each individual he wouldn't tell them who to love....

"To be added to the Constitution, the proposal must be approved by two-thirds of the House and the Senate and ratified by three-fourths of the states."

I don't know about the rest of you, but Im praying with one hand and getting ready to pack with the other. I always wanted to live somewhere warmer....