hen you realize a(nother) reason why someone who's presence has been guilt tripping you for the past three and a half years was doing some of the same things that you were doing

Neither of us took the other person's feelings as seriously as we ourselves did.

Internally, I stick to my guns. I can't speak up enough for myself, though. And whenever I talk with her, whenever I think about defending myself, I automatically assume all the guilt because everyone else dumped it on me. I ask myself what I did wrong. Fuck.

Ok, ok, I'll admit, I have some martyr tendencies, but really...

Blah. Three and a half years and I still haven't figured out how I feel about what happened.