I went out to breakfast with my family and extended family this morning (an unusual occurance for us) and I ended up walking back alone with my mom the seven blocks or whatever - we didn't talk at all. I wonder how long it's going to take before we can connect at all.

Less [or more] awkwardly, I had a big conversation with my good friend [who has quite the conservative background] not directly about gayness, but the subject did come up several times, and although I tried to get her to say more about her feelings, I didn't get too much out of her. I did finally break it to her that religiously we don't believe the same things, which went well I think... we had a pretty cool conversation.

It can be hard to have a deep conversation with someone who is so close to being family, but isn't really related... easier in some ways - harder in others.

I'm going to tell her I'm a lesbian this summer. I have to. And I'm pretty sure she's not expecting it at all - just from the way we talk about different subjects, and the comments she makes - so mainly I'm worried about leaving her in the awkward situation of having no one to talk to about it... her family is WAY homophobic.

I'm going to go journal about this, so maybe I can come up with some words that make more sense.

vel