riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us back by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs

~j.j

In society?

The topic and debate in one(!):

Why is somehow political correct to only be accepting to people who are oppressed? Can not we accept the fact that certain people hate other people? Why can we not tolerate hate?

Ahhh... Because hate leads to action- and that we fear, leads to pain, and indeed fear in other individuals. The example of course being someone calling a gay person a "faggot."

I have been called a foggot in times when it was not jest or silliness. Nay!- It was in fact in situations which were "hateful." But I used a weapon- the weapon of humor. The weapon of sarcasm. The weapon of charm. The weapon of language. I was not in the least bit offended by the term. I am a faggot. Yes I happen to like men, you gota problem? I could give a f***!

But, eTgen, the connotations. The connotations. Faggot does not just mean "gay man"- nay!, it carries the moral context with which, the speaker lowers the addressee to level of 'subhuman'!

Poppycock! I say! Poppycock all over! Language is one of the most personal things that men have. How you choose to define words- that is their context- is subjective truth! All men define words differently. Go to England and say you are wearing pants, and no doubt they will laugh. "Well we should hope you are wearing underwear".

Nonsense. What a pile of absolute tripe! Words are the foundations of civilizations- if they falter than society itself will crumble-

Tell me, have you looked around. Do you see a society still left? What we stand upon is the ancient ruins of broken language! Take what you will. Foolish Locke, does he not see the scarcity?

Oh please! This is foolish. Society exists, and language is its pillar. You can not go galavanting around arguing that faggot does not cause harm.

If "faggot" was a dagger, it would have become a sport.

It already has! The game is called homophobia.

It has not damaged me! I must be wearing much more armor than others.

The armor of repression does not mean the armor of the oppression!

Those who can not fight off the blade, should not be playing the game.

Were slaves given a choice to fight against the Gladiators?

Were there slaves that won?

Rabble.

Rabble. Rabble.

&c

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In individual?

The topic:

Why must we accept who we are?

The debate:

Why must we some how “come to terms” with who we are? Why must we say- I am proud to be gay? What does it mean to be gay- liking men, but than also this concept, the role that you now must play! You think that people are individuals! Please! More than half the world are nothing but cookies cut out by the hands of G they are pathetic! They accept themselves by having others accept them! I say this is poppycock!

The world is a collective you must belong. If you do not than you are alone.

Than I shall be alone. I refuse to join any gay collective. I am not a Borg! I serve no queen.

You serve yourself.

Yes! I serve myself but I do not need to validate my existence through the gay collective.

There is no gay collective. There are simply a group of people who call themselves gay.

Hence- a gay collective.

But you are denying yourself pleasure. Denying yourself the ability to live.

I am proving to the world that I can resist. I am the worst thing to happen to the world since time itself. I deny society the pleasure of telling me where I belong. I refuse the fags the pleasure of ordering me to “fit in”.

No orders, on either side are being made. And second, are you not following society by denying your homosexuality. Surely someone is pleased by this fact- the fanatical right wing?

First- orders are being made implicit. You either fit or do not. You are either “one of them” or “one of us” I am “one of (no) one”! The fact that groups have social pariah- simply proves that there are social decorum- edicts- which place, if you will people into certain categories. I am beyond categories. Second, I do not deny my homosexuality to myself- I deny the others the pleasure that they so badly desire. Around the faggots I am their worst nightmare, and around the conservatives there. I make no one happy. I am against everything at the same time. A contradiction? Yes! I do not deny it.

Why? Why these antics?

I must prove to the world that I am free. That I can resist- that I can do nothing.

Underground man- the floorboards will fall upon you one day!

One can but hope that it is sooner (latter) rather than latter (sooner).

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It seems that all you are doing is creating an intellectual argument for sheer laziness. You sit and do nothing so that everything can be done. You are the plague of society. You poison yourself to please whom? Does society really care? People pity you for your sheer sadness, pathetic boy!

Oh dear. How I am to be so misunderstand by those around me. If you consider me a plague to society than so be it- I could care less for you beliefs. Go and be a sheep among herds! I shall look down upon thee and laugh. The eagle so high- and the snake so low. If society cares for my problems, than I laugh! Take their pity elsewhere. I sneer at it. I laugh at it. It is not I who am to be pitied. Do we pity the sheep whose destiny is the slaughterhouse (5) or the snake whose destiny is a collapsed cavern. Isolated loneliness. The snake is a more noble animal- for it has strayed from the path of the righteous.

Poppycock! The sheep while it may die, nay as it will die, has at least had social connections. It’s life is complete. Meaningful. The snake is a pathetic oversized worm! What can it do! Be alone! Think of all that it has not experienced.

Think of all the sheep pathetic virtues! Its collectivization! Oh how Yahweh would be proud to know your virtue! But the snake needs no leader. It’s path is made by the toils of suffering! Not by the comfort of ignorance! Two feet baaaad, four feet good! Such are the minds of herds!

****und so weiter, and so it goes, et cetera...... reaching?

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There is so much order in my life. Everyday is a repetition of the last. Sleep, food, computer, homework, sleep, food, computer, work, sleep.......

How tediously absurd and (enjoyable, painful) life has become.

I laugh at the vicious cycle of inaction that I live in.

Is there an end?

Where does a circle start?- where does it end?

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riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us back by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs [of absurdity]

eTgten