Well, i haven't been here in a while, but oh well.

tonight i went to my best friends birthday party. It was really hard cause only a few of the people there were people that know i'm bi... and i feel really guilty about not coming out to one of the people there (Heather) because she's like a sister to me. I guess i'm kind of scared to tell her because she's a little afariad of gay and bi females. I really don't know what to do about it. I guess i'll tell her some time when the time is right...

But what if the time is never right? It never seems to be the right time to tell my parents, and i've had some really good oppurtunities.I guess i'm more than a little scared to tell Heather. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but i hate lying to someone that's like a sister to me! i've known her forever and she really deserves to know the truth about me. Why does nothing ever seem to go good for me?

Blah...I just want to be able to be me around every one... I hate hiding who i am because of what others might think about me or do to me. None of my friends deserves to be lied to, but i'm afriad that they'll not like me. Or start to like me for the wrong reasons or something like that. I don't need any more confusion in my life. Especially not right now. I have too much going on.. And i don't know how much longer i can keep my grip on reality...