All right... this is weird... but, I think I'm jealous of them. I don't know why I am, or why I should be, but I am... Maybe because I want things to once to be that easy in a relationship, to just be able to say "I'll come over after school" or we'll go to the movies tonight, and not to have to plan ahead or worry about the other person's schedule or reaction... It's kinda horrible... and pathetic... I shouldn't feel like this. I have two great guys who like me... maybe even love me... but it is so hard, somedays I just want to forget all about them so it doesn't hurt. It's so stupid... so stupid...
No. I won't go cut. Not anymore. It is s stupid thing, yet another one of my bad choices... It is going away. If nothing else I am going to accomplish that.