ok, I need to get this out on a blog, otherwise I'm going to be too distracted to do any homework, and I can't afford for that to happen again today. Yesterday I spent a good part of the day with some girls I know, doing a community service project. Two of the girls have been dating for like, 2 years. They're really a cute couple and are wonderful together. However, watching them all day made me even more aware of what I don't have, and what I so badly want. I don't know if anyone else feels like this, but I really feel like I'm someone who's meant to be in a meaningful relationship with someone. I've never had that though, and I feel like I'm never going to find the right person for me. I'm so out of the loop when it comes to dating and the social scene that I feel pathetic. I just see all these couple around campus, and I feel like I'm missing out on something so wonderful...
Then, I realized that even if I do find the woman I'm meant to be with, so many people will just scoff and dismiss our relationship simply because we're both women. I know that If you really love the person, it shouldn't matter what others say/think, but it bothers me...why can't people just fucking wake up and realize that people are people. It doesn't matter if the person you love is a man or a woman or black or white or purple, for goodness sakes...As long as there's love there, none of that is important.
Damnit, sometimes I feel so dumb getting worked up about stuff like this. Hopefully the right girl will come along eventually, and if people don't approve, then that's their problem. But it hurts when those people include people like my family and friends. *Sigh* life would be so much easier if I were straight.
-Tiffany
Comments
Hey gurl
Cheer up hon, it gets better. I agree with what you say though. I see couples like that, friends of mine even, and I wish that I could have something like that. Anyways, it really sux trying to find men. A lot of them are just looking for a hook-up. They think they can impress you with a pic of them naked and ur just gonna hop in the car, drive to a meeting place and do the deed! UGH! Who does that? Dont get me wrong though, there are good men out there. I am talking to two right now and I am hoping that something good will come out of being with one of them.
Keep your chin up, the right girl will come along and all this pain will have been worth it.
Love and Rainbow Hugs! The gay guy in the loud car!
*Hug*
Hey,Tiffany,
Yeah - I hear ya. I feel like I'm in the same situation right now. I'd really like to hook up with another guy, and there's one at school who just might be gay...But yeah - I'm far away from the cultural/interesting/fun/gay parts of town, and I go to a homophobic school. And I'm a senior in HS. Who wants to start a relationship right before graduation? But I just want to have some experience before I go off to college.
If it's any consolation, just know that there are others (like me!) in your same situation. But - as to life being better if straight - I don't know, I prefer my rampant homosexuality.
c.f.