cough, choke, throw it up; purge the truth 'cause my stomach aint got that much room. watch it trickle down the steel bars of the street drain, down between autumn leaves blown away by autumn rain. empty is how i'd like to feel today becasue the leaves go straight from green to brown and i've been up so high now i know there's no place to go but down.
and with every thought the sun's light wains and my perspective changes from meek to bleaker. i know there's others taking the same flight - fluttering- i feel them sometimes as nothing more than a constant shudder of the prayer of pain to a god of neccesity but, oh, sadness is all bravado. if you only know what i know. you see, my tears have entitled me to this; it is a badge of honor of which you couldn't possibly distinguish. becasue alone in the darkness is where i stand and maybe one of these days i will yell to be saved but what is depression without descretion; silence pleases satisfaction; my situation is unknown to all. and when my throat is raw i am reminded to inhale at midnight of the nights that ripple as white capped waves - eternally restless. Some things cannot be explained. madness (a rain stained pillow case, the line between yesterday and today) only reasons exsisting. i cannot keep it all contained. this feeling is filling; empty is how i'd like to be.
but the leaves go straight from green to brown
caressed by the autumn wind
and destined to rest on the autumn ground.