Youth group sleepover, that is all I have to say. Muah hah haaa...

There is a good and bad side though, on the good side, it gave me time to talk to Zach (amongst other things) and see how deep my feelings are. On the bad side, the retarded boy, Eddie, is obsessed with me, and stalking me, which is not helping the whole fear of men thing... *grumble* He kept on coming up behind me and "tickling me" or grabbing me, and staring at me. I was getting really afraid. Zach got major brownie points though because he to an extent realized what was going on and tried to stay between him and me. Thank goddess... I honestly couldn't stand much more of him, I feel bad, but it is all because of JC and what he did. The bastard. The only two guys I can stand to be physically close to are Zach and Matt, when it comes down to it. Damn him.

On the bright side again, Zach is really starting to open up and talk to me, it is surprising because I am seeing a completely different side of him. After making out a bunch and stuff, lol, yeah I'm a typical teen in what way. I do like Zach alot, but it is different than what I feel for Matt. Matt and I could hold a relationship for a long time, I know it. Zach and I... I don't know, it depends on how much we can open up and trust each other.

Now I am torn... I can't date both of them... and I can't forget either one of them, so I should I carry on as I have been, even though it feels wrong, or, what? What now?