Hehe....My crush and me are going out now. Rachael is my best friend and now she's my girlfriend, too. But she's dating Josh and Daniel, too. Daniel knows about me, but Josh doesn't know about either of us. Lol...
I wrote James a letter. I really regret breaking up with him back at Christmas. :( I think I fell in love with him over then, but didn't realize it. But he's going out with Stacy, my ex-best friend.
For you ppls who don't know how the hell my ppls are that I talk about:
Trevor: My ex-boyfriend. Who I lost my virginity to in September.
Rachael: My best friend, she's bi. Now my g/f. :)
Stacy: Were best friends since we were 7 then things changed.
Michael: The 1st boyfriend I ever had. Now kinda a jerk. He was abusive.
James: My ex-boyfriend, I was his first kiss, hehe...
Misty: one of my friends, an ex-girlfriend.
Krystal: a friend
Courtney: a friend
Jonathan: my other crush and my best friend
Daniel: a mixed bi guy who goes with Rachael
Josh: rachael's b/f, he's out of school in job core (school for dropouts)
Um...I can't think of anyone more.
My problem for the while:
They're christians, homophobics, racists, and they don't have a good opinion of me anyway.
1) I'm Wiccan. They don't know. When I start to talk to them to understand it, they say "Quit talking that shit. It's satanism" and I try to show them it's not, but oh well.
2) I have a girlfriend, and how do I tell them that? They don't know I'm bi. They hate gays, and all. My cousin Patrick and my Aunt Karen are gay and I'm not allowed to talk to them or anything, but I still do.
3) They won't let my mixed, or black friends come over because they are mixed or black. It's so wrong. My grandparents are ok with race, but my parents are racist.
4) My cutting problem: I cut myself today because I was depressed about James and all. I have a cut on the blue veins that show through my skin. It's small, though. I cut my forearm, too. It was bleeding alot. But it's ok, now. It's weird, but I keep a vial of a dragon in my room. It's about 3 or 4 inches and it's about a quarter full of my blood. I feel so alone.