This was what may have happened about a year ago... I'm sorry for all these depressing things, I thought everything was all right, but it's going back from gray to black.
hopes and skin
knocked down by ignorance and hate
blood drains away
drains with life to nothingness
darkness and cold
no heaven no angels in the real world
no hell no burning and pain
only nothingness and being alone
too early at sixteen years to be alone
all at the fault of ignorance and people not accepting
girl with a suit and tie
kissing candied lips with a skirt and knee-high socks
black and red
darkness and red
red like the candied lips
tears and black anger from those sweet lips
hate for the ignorance and lack of understanding
dreams of angels for one lost
a dream of hope and comfort
lies to feel at peace
no golden gates open and waiting with smiling faces and halos
suit and tie stained with red
surrounded by pools of crimson pain
red lips that met candied lips gone cold
only aloneness and darkness for girl with the suit and tie
agony and pain for skirt and knee high socks
Well... that was fun... that was almost where I ended up the last time I cut...
Oh look Mom's home, how joyful is that.. Not even inside for a minute and she's yelling at me... I should have gotten the knife out while I had the chance. No I shouldn't have... but I wish I had. The cuts number almost 40 now on each arm, and I was stupid and angry so they are allll over my arms from the elbow down instead of in one spot like a smart person would have done. Now Mom's telling me that I can't save to go to Ireland with the school next year... great, make my day even better...
Goddess... I need to call someone....